Sunday, July 05, 2009

Calm before the storm

It's been a stressful week, and as the bar exam gets closer I have no time to write, and no brain capacity to write anything worth reading. I'm in the home office trying to have a cheap and relatively comfortable study session (sitting at Starbucks for eight hours tends to cost a lot in coffee; the AC is always blasting there, or the library is smelly and loud, or whatever, and at home I can kick back with bare feet and blast the classical station and scrounge around at home for food). Of course, despite the creature comforts of home, I hear Juliet wailing in the bedroom right above me, stubbornly refusing to nap, and my heart just wants to go lay down next to her and cuddle up and just fast forward 4 weeks from today when Jim and I are hopefully on the coast somewhere hiking and drinking a glass of wine and watching the sunset.

I took the last two days off and on Friday we ended up going on a day trip to Pt. Reyes, which was just gorgeous. It's right next to Bolinas so it felt like familiar territory. We picnicked on Heart's Desire beach on Tomales Bay, where the sun was warm and inviting, dozens of tiny children and their families were out; the smell of hot dogs grilling, Juliet splashing in the calm, relatively warm water; it was heaven. Then we drove out to the lighthouse, and spent some time on Drake's Beach, where the weather went foggy, waves crashed and the boys gleefully did some boogie boarding and Juliet shrieked in delight at the playful surf. Perfect day.

We did Fourth of July in classic Davis style, as we do every year - nowhere to be, no one to be beholden to for plans or timetables, so it was wonderfully mellow and fun as usual. Bike races in the morning, moseying around downtown, burgers for lunch, hanging out with Juliet and her little friend at home while Jim (finally) finished the fence in the backyard; then packing everyone up, bucket of fried chicken and off to Community Park for the annual Fourth of July event, with music and taiko drumming and eating and drinking and the boys running around with their friends and then finally all of us squeezing onto our blanket and cuddling up for the huge fireworks show. Juliet was enthralled as always, and there we all were as a family together all huddling up under the brilliant sky. The Fourth may well be my favorite holiday of all time.

It was a wonderful two days, and I'm glad I took them off, even though I am now disbelieving how close I am to this heinous exam and wondering how I'm ever going to do it. The good news is, I'm a lot less dumbfounded about Community Property at the moment than I've ever been, so we'll just take it from there and see how it goes.

It's only in the darkest times in my life that my stubbornly agnostic self finds it necessary to pray -- an unnecessary and illogical activity if there ever was one, and I'm doing it now: dear God, please let me pass this exam.

5 comments:

Kelly J. Bozanic said...

Dear "Law Mama,"

I am heartened to stumble onto your blog. I am a recent law school grad, married for nine years now, and just found out my fatigue is not simply from studying for the California bar exam, but from a long awaited pregnancy. I am exhausted, terrified, and slightly amused at the timing of it all. I am open to any advice you have to offer. If nothing else, it is a blessing to know there are others out there facing the same things!

law mama said...

Thanks Kelly! Congrats on graduating AND on pregnancy! Boy do I feel your struggle. The good news is, exhaustion usually lets up after the first trimester. I don't know where you're at right now, but I bet you'll be just fine for the bar.

Where are you sitting for it, by the way? I'm in Sacramento.

I feel barely qualified to give advice given that I'm struggling so mightily myself. I'll be upfront and say that I am still indulging in my morning cup of coffee and afternoon Diet Coke, because it's absolutely necessary to my survival... but that may be just me. If I can just maintain a positive state of mind, I think that will be key to being successful.

Your blog looks absolutely fascinating and I promise to add it to my reader in three weeks once my brain returns to its normal state and I can give it the attention it deserves! :)

Please feel free to drop me a line anytime. Congrats again.

Kelly J. Bozanic said...

It's great to connect! I hear you with the need for the caffeine, I am enjoying green tea - when I can tolerate it. I am only 7 weeks along, so everything is making me sick and or exhausted. I actually fell asleep while doing a practice performance test last week and today I had to run to the ladies' during my practice essays. I am not entirely sure how this is going to play out. I am hoping for some supernatural grace on game day.

I am sitting for the exam in San Diego.

Best wishes to you, I hope we both pass!

p.s. I haven't blogged in ages - too busy! - I must get back to that . . . hmmmmm :)

law mama said...

Yow, 7 weeks along. That IS rough. I found that constantly eating Saltines during class helped keep some nausea at bay. Everyone's different, so try everything until you find something that works for you. See if you can get a doctor's note for crackers, or sneak them in your pocket! Best of luck to you and to us both. Pregnant and taking the bar exam - we can do this!!!

Kelly J. Bozanic said...

I am subsisting on Saltines and Club Soda . . . you can get a doctor's note for that? I had better do that, thanks, this could save me! :)